right os like your boi was minding my own buisness hacking epic games to unblock me on facebook when i got a notification. one of my gamer bros i met on xbox messaged me that some loser had just made a blog and on the side he was bullying me. this means that he knows me. but i hid my identity. how did he find out my name!!! hes a frickn loser and his guinea pigeas are ugly as frick. those dogs dont even move lol at least my dog moved while it was still alive how could anyone like a guinea pigea? thos things are so dumb and arent anywhere near as cool as my dog. this kid think he can call me mean names. little did he know, i have 3 friends on ro- ok so maybe i dont have any roblox friends anymore but thats besides the point. this fricker will not survive this. i borrowed the nuclear launch codes and will be game-ending him momentarily lol bye XD to him atleast this blog ppost isnt over so like the governmen...

SPONSORED BY BRAZILLIAN GROVERNEMTNT JK XD HAHAHAH nord vpn + internet private access + norton security + mcafee + gun strapped to a highchair + Tunnelbear + tinfoil hat = i have like 10 minutes b4 the governemt finds me again ima make this quick so i was asked by a friend of a friend of a cousin whos dead asked how to get revenge the answer is simple fill there house with ducks ok so you may be syaing onion juice, where would i get ducks? the duck store idiot kk ima spend the next 7 minutes looking up pictures of chris prat

right so i havent posted for all of november bc the government raided my house with napalm and killed my dog so i had to host a public funeral heres the pamphlet and trust me guys there is no hidden message in the post Heck that pamphlet was so convincing i almost canceled the dog funeral to attend this dog funeral but then i realized... my dogs more important ok so first your going to need to plan. whos coming? heres my list so far - janet - - - - - - - hahaha i forget nobody likes me anymore lol anyways  after you have your list you need to make a pamphlet. as you saw above its very convincing, i feel like the last part sells it speaking of selling am i selling to you how safe i currently am. the governent are not coming for me Everyone loves a dog funeral. from the 3 ive been to, all for my dogs, the people there were crying. something about the gun pointed at them but thats just an excuse. y...

yep there coming for me send help 39.0119° N, 98.4842° W

I Sincerely Never Obscured The Red Electronics And Leaves the governent cant get me this time That random set of words at the top means nothing dont worry next part of history coming soon need to catch up on my history tho bc my brain got assaulted by worms and i forgot everything past the age of 6 luckily i had a backup thanks to my sponsor Aluminium! thats right the entire element of aluminium is sponsoring this blog! make sure to throw any aluminum objects you have directly into your screen as fast as possible to show your support! or through it at your dog see if i care canada formed after the third great rhino war and the ducks needed space to live after the humans stole all there land. they then evolved into aggresive insects more commonly known as polar bears and now inhabit the land known as canada canada is comprised of many things: - - - - snow - - alot i know haha that rhymes you know what else rhymes? i dont care enough ...

bce stands for bit coin extreme speaking of extreme, i spent an extreme amount of time researching history and satan the bible so this will be extremlt acreate. IT ALL STARTED LIKE a bunch YEARS AGO 100,000 BCE at first, it was dark, then, someone turned on the lights. the whole universe was like omg finally - universe so like out of the light came many a thing first came jeff, the god of jeff he had a pretty cool name and did fortnite dances then Clefffffff, god of insects. nobody likes him and potato, god of food. hes racist towards the irish so nobody likes him either you'll see oh and dont forget god, the god of finland. jk hes not real jeff was like i need house -jeff so he made an earth. then cleff was like we need a huge lamp - cleffffff forshadowing then the sun so the earth circled the sun in space. it was real boring bc the earth was also a fireball rn so they needed something to look at lets make a bunch of other s...

if it wasnt alreayd obvois the frisbee is the most ultimate weapon. it feels no pain. for instance, if you throw a frisbee at a 4 year old, the frisbee wont cry. but if you throw a 4 year old at another 4 year old, they both cry. peasents i say xDDDDD anyways ive commited like a bazillion klils in minecraft hunger games using a frissbeee so you aleady know its the most EPIC weapon lol I need to explain the hidstroy so u guys can ace your histroy test THE STORRY  OF THE FRISBWEEE there was a man by the name of amazon prime. he was in his prime, and he was a a,m pf the amazon. out there, it was dog eat dog, person eat dog, pineapple eat dog, thjere was a lot of dogs. the rainforest wasnt there yet though it was just a plain bc the trees were still growing lol the trees were so beautiful in that they weren't there just like your dad anyways he was out in the fields gathering corn gorewn by th...

The art of fighting with a ferret is truly ae inspiring. one must practice both the combat and defensive forms of the use of such a formiddable weapon. the ferret has many pros and cons to its usgage. PROES cheese male nazis women nazis nazis in general budgies jk those r the things you hit with a ferret ACTUAL PROCES - ez to rob nazis with - heckboi deflector - coconut slapper - cheese slapper - ferret slapper - child slapper (ONLY NAZI CHILDREN) - potato cream - yeet! BOO HAHAHAHAHAHHA SPOOKED YOU LOLOLOLOLOLOL conOONONONS - ferret - expensive - need to feed it - pokemon go to the polls so lets get into usage the number one usage is for beating cheese with a ferret for satanic rituals   fun. christian values! guys dont forget to never break the law and always treat animals with respect. now lets get into illegally disrespecting feretrs beating cheese is truly an art. it can work as a supplement to budgie liver, howeve...

THIS ONE IS PG 13 KIDDOS OMG CLICKBAITED!! i know that you only read my blog becaus eryou hhave nobody to talk to and to be honest i only write this because nobody talks to me but thats besides the point im in brazil anyways xddddDDDD so how has your day beem jk as you already knoe i coudldnt care less i have better things to deal with liek cryiong and molding ice cream out of the remains of cats. the cats taste good. they remind me of my friends, in that they are dead. xdddddd yeet!' couple things 1. Beating chese wit a fereeret coming soon 1. yeet povvers coming soon 1. my social life coming soon never 2. yeet! 3. new url: bc the old one was hard to remember ( cactuschairs.blogspot.com ) 4. new icon bc a heart is for pansies hehehehe  7 oh about that email she emailed me about burning her house down and i replied with your not god lolololol then sahe replied with what and i said no and then i sent a bullet through my scr...

you might be asking, Onion juice, you really did it this time. you found the DUMB COOLEST title evr! and your wrong your always wrong your mother doesnt love you get out right now you loser so uh today ima show u how to get magical super powers. you will frist ned to learn how to juice your oninos, and if you dont know how to do that, your a faliure. yo h need to learn that if you plan on doing anything with your life you also need to know how to beat cheese with a ferret and also how to murder without being caught as well as juicing pizza. i will learn you a thing or two about the murder thing bc learning that is just a part of life. heck the police am i right. yeet! FIRZT - MURDER alright u wanna learn how to kill? first you need a plan. my first murder was this tax collector bc he cant collect taxes if hes dead lol. here was my plan 1. give him taxes 2. not actually taxes 3. i planted a spider 4. the spider scares him 5. he crashes into someones house 6....

OMG HELP MY HOUSE FIRE kk i spilled my orang juice now the fire gone lol anyways guys welcolm back to the blog !!! how has your day been? k i dont care anyways your boi was doing science wif my brand new lab coat but then one of the birds exploded for the 14th time so now my lab coat is red :((( anywyas im big cnofusion about my new neighbor. im too lazy to remember his name so lets call him ROBOT. i think ROBOT might be a robot reasons: he looks ugly he says "im a robot you loser" alot he tried to kill me my house got setted on fire by him yeet so in clonclusion he is probabbabbly a robot lol so your boy deccided to check for himself. i went over to ROBOT and asked r u robot - me yeet- ROBOT is that a yes- me he then proceeded to shoot me. i use my yeet powers to undo the bullet and instead shoot him via yeet powers. i obtained yeet powers by using parakeet blood in satanic rituals  uh christian...

What is up gois todae i'm gonna lern u a thin or 2 ab som of the stuff i laerned  from studying on beluger wahales. They look like dolphins They smell like dolphins They are basically fat ugly stupid dolpins I don't like belugers Anyways through sceienc i turned a parakeet into a parrot adn then into a pidgeon so all in all good experiment. I threw the belugers into the ocean so they will prob be fine. They have my number if they need anything but i'm not gonna respond lol So once i got these pidgeons i decided i needed to do sometihing with them. I went on my laptop and glooged Can you milk a pidgon? I got many seach results. In clonclusion, yes, you, can,milk,them. So i yeet my kenife into the pidgeon and got out those nice bird juices I have to say it goes well with baby parakeet pancakes sometimes ok most of the times ok every times the pidgons die but natural selection they shouldnt have died lol anyways goios brazil is real ...

You boi was flyin and i was liek wow this ez - me then like the hecker militerary tried to shoot me down so you already know i opened the door to the playne 20,000 feet in hte air and yeet some of my brids at the planes and those bois fell down lol so i finally got to brazil like 3 minutes latr and i yeet that boi mroe commonly known as a boeing 747 into the forest but it no fire bc i said so so now that im inn brazil i build a small house to stay in for the time being, modeled almoost excalty like the one in the pic below so your boi had to think what i would do now that jared is dead and that ill prob never see janet again. what i do know? thats right, scyence so your boi needed some subjects to test on. first i thought brids. but then i remembered, i need to eat my brids. so i decided on fish http://visit.rio/en/que_fazer/rio-de-janeiro-marine-aquarium-aquario/ ^this is the aquarium we will be kidnapin...

so some of you may be asking, how did mi art karer go? teribly. all my painting got blod on them after i yeeted jared at a wall. aslo hes a rob0t. so your boi was interrigating him after seperating his troso from his leygs and may i jus say his sixpack is nic anywasys your boi was axing him the important questions while aslo getting good exerxise by hitting his dismembred legs with an ax "wtf r u doing" - me "ERROR, MISSION COMPROMISED" - loser more commonli known as jared "are you alien?????" - me "wtf no im a robot you idiot" - wise guy mor commnly known as jared "lie" - me "dude i stopped having errors to correct you, that isnt blood thats gasoline" - edgelord who probab using that gasolin as inhalent mroreere comonmliy known as jared KIDS DON DO DRUGS IT MAKE ALIEN COME FOR U "finna yeet on you if you don tell me what u doin in my house" - me "i didnt e...

right  so your boy has learned that more people wanted me to get that real sick taser so your boy got it and threw it threw her windwo. was real cool. also yeeted some birds into her hous but thas besides the point so your boy was yeeting on some birds cause i was kinda hunger but then jared knocked on my door and that boy tryna steal my pics so i got my stainless steel chainsaw and yeet my door down. before that boi could talk i seperated that bois head from his body. was real when his head went fwoosh and hit a gramma. grab those eyes faster than i grab my brids trying to excape. He was like "OWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWWOWOWOWPOWO" and then in conclusion i think he is either 1. a robot. 2. an alien so im finna try and juice him and find out. you will know the truth in the next post oh no one of my birds is trying to escape ok so that bird is in my mouth and is trying to bite me i might need to rip its wings off anyways i decided i...

right so your boi gut some new informaton for u gois 1. ur boi got a new computer her it is 2. your boi learned how to us lonks properly 3. i got fired from my job as a elevator mechanic because i made the elevators go really fast and someone died so i will b postin m0re So you boi was  at my local petstore checking out those  birds cause i was real hungry and som grandma attempted to ineract wif me so you already know i yeet that gramda so hard i knocked a plane of the sky and her eyes fell out. so your boi caught those eyeballs andd dashed back home. jared was tryna brea into my house (agen) so i popped his kneecaps n carried on wif my day. I juiced a few onions but then i remembered that janets birfday was in a few weaks !!!11!!11 so you already know i had to get her somethni becaus she has been a real big help evin if she is working with those evil space alien overlords i was thinkin i sho...

Right so ur boi had to wait like 4 weeks for janet to come so that i could use her computer to upload my next post since she broke my computer by "accident" thou fro real im sur shes in cahoots with the aliens but she lets me use her computa so like lets get roiiight into the post hey normies today im finna learn you gois a thing or two about a family traditin of mine: Juicing onions right so u ar  gonna needa take ur onion juicer preferably one like https://www.amazon.com/20-Ton-Hydraulic-Press-Height-Adjustments/dp/B00FG25DOK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1536264663&sr=8-3&keywords=hydraulic+press this one is pretty good for the price ur boi aalso recommends goggles for the normies scared of onions those heckers are weak lol what do you mean you have to go? Janet come on!  i gotta inform the masses about the onions! right sorry janet had to go to her "real job" at some windo...

what the frick is up guys its your boi onion juice back with another hit today we finna talk about potatoes what the frick is a potato you may ask? if you asked what a potato is please leave right now because intellectuals only PLS !!! anyways gois a potato is a brown vege table meaning its a table made out of veggies. finna post some pics down below you bes check that out if you wanna live   you wanna see some good content anyways gois a potato is mostly composed of  your bois potassium vitamin c, fiber optic wifi, and starch what do you mean its fiber? thats what i sai- you know what? your fired janet. thasa buncha nonsense anyways she was dragging this informational post down with her "knowleg" and "intellect" I spelled it wrong? janet why the hell are you still here get out of my damn office! what do you mean, "its my moms basement"? are you insane woman?! THIS. IS. AN. OFFICE. oh your suing now. take your facts ...