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How to god be is yes (PART 1)

you might be asking, Onion juice, you really did it this time. you found the DUMBCOOLEST title evr!
and your wrong your always wrong your mother doesnt love you get out right now you loser

 so uh today ima show u how to get magical super powers. you will frist ned to learn how to juice your oninos, and if you dont know how to do that, your a faliure. yo h need to learn that if you plan on doing anything with your life
you also need to know how to beat cheese with a ferret and also how to murder without being caught as well as juicing pizza. i will learn you a thing or two about the murder thing bc learning that is just a part of life. heck the police am i right. yeet!

FIRZT - MURDER

alright u wanna learn how to kill? first you need a plan. my first murder was this tax collector bc he cant collect taxes if hes dead lol. here was my plan

1. give him taxes
2. not actually taxes
3. i planted a spider
4. the spider scares him
5. he crashes into someones house
6. not actually a house
7. is actually a giant hole
8. falls into hole
9. hole filled with onion juice
10. i cook birds in that hole
11. i burn him alive

after he died i skinned him for a new jacket

that was a pretty advansed klill, and also he was a tax collecting nazy so i dont feel that bad lol

if you tryna kill, you always need a palan.

STEPE  TOO - WEAPON

there are many weapons you could use. millions even. maybe even gazillions. below, ive listed some of my favorites

https://www.amazon.com/Mini-Rubber-Ducky-Baby-50-Pack/dp/B018WJ5MBC/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1538941472&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=duck&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/Porter-York-Whole-Chickens-6-pack/dp/B00U05V7U2/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1538941488&sr=1-2-spons&keywords=chicken&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/Koch-5011635-Twisted-Polypropylene-Brown/dp/B002T44UGA/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1538941509&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=noose

https://www.amazon.com/reputation-Taylor-Swift/dp/B0754BBDF1/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1538941526&sr=1-1&keywords=taylor+swift+album

the last one is my favorite bc it makes nazis scream

of course, the classic onion juice in the eyes bird feet in the mouth tactic. works every time 10% of the time though once when i did it i think this one guy liked it so you already know i blasted some of that taylor siwift and he died almost instantly. i love using broken bird wings to block out that garbage sound. Yeet!

STEP 3 - DEVELOP YEET POWERS

yeet powers solve all your problems. if you train for a long enough time (like 4 minutes) you can even use /kill to kill your enemies. its really imprereseisive how many cool things you can do with yeet powers

STEP 3 - HIDE THE BODY

you can hide the body using my 10 step program
1- find the body
2- get the body
3- smell the body
4- feel the body
5- fight the body
6- date the body
7- scratch that last one
8- dont scratch your screen
9- lick the body
10 - ooh is that a bird?

anyways i have to go yeet on some bodies i mean birds, i see perfectly good wings over there ready for az snappsppappaing, have a nice day guys and be preparded for PART 2, how to juice pizza. dont forget, NEVER BREAK THE LAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






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