Skip to main content

How to god be is yes (PART 1)

you might be asking, Onion juice, you really did it this time. you found the DUMBCOOLEST title evr!
and your wrong your always wrong your mother doesnt love you get out right now you loser

 so uh today ima show u how to get magical super powers. you will frist ned to learn how to juice your oninos, and if you dont know how to do that, your a faliure. yo h need to learn that if you plan on doing anything with your life
you also need to know how to beat cheese with a ferret and also how to murder without being caught as well as juicing pizza. i will learn you a thing or two about the murder thing bc learning that is just a part of life. heck the police am i right. yeet!

FIRZT - MURDER

alright u wanna learn how to kill? first you need a plan. my first murder was this tax collector bc he cant collect taxes if hes dead lol. here was my plan

1. give him taxes
2. not actually taxes
3. i planted a spider
4. the spider scares him
5. he crashes into someones house
6. not actually a house
7. is actually a giant hole
8. falls into hole
9. hole filled with onion juice
10. i cook birds in that hole
11. i burn him alive

after he died i skinned him for a new jacket

that was a pretty advansed klill, and also he was a tax collecting nazy so i dont feel that bad lol

if you tryna kill, you always need a palan.

STEPE  TOO - WEAPON

there are many weapons you could use. millions even. maybe even gazillions. below, ive listed some of my favorites

https://www.amazon.com/Mini-Rubber-Ducky-Baby-50-Pack/dp/B018WJ5MBC/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1538941472&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=duck&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/Porter-York-Whole-Chickens-6-pack/dp/B00U05V7U2/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1538941488&sr=1-2-spons&keywords=chicken&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/Koch-5011635-Twisted-Polypropylene-Brown/dp/B002T44UGA/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1538941509&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=noose

https://www.amazon.com/reputation-Taylor-Swift/dp/B0754BBDF1/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1538941526&sr=1-1&keywords=taylor+swift+album

the last one is my favorite bc it makes nazis scream

of course, the classic onion juice in the eyes bird feet in the mouth tactic. works every time 10% of the time though once when i did it i think this one guy liked it so you already know i blasted some of that taylor siwift and he died almost instantly. i love using broken bird wings to block out that garbage sound. Yeet!

STEP 3 - DEVELOP YEET POWERS

yeet powers solve all your problems. if you train for a long enough time (like 4 minutes) you can even use /kill to kill your enemies. its really imprereseisive how many cool things you can do with yeet powers

STEP 3 - HIDE THE BODY

you can hide the body using my 10 step program
1- find the body
2- get the body
3- smell the body
4- feel the body
5- fight the body
6- date the body
7- scratch that last one
8- dont scratch your screen
9- lick the body
10 - ooh is that a bird?

anyways i have to go yeet on some bodies i mean birds, i see perfectly good wings over there ready for az snappsppappaing, have a nice day guys and be preparded for PART 2, how to juice pizza. dont forget, NEVER BREAK THE LAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

HISTORY OF WORLD (100,000 BCE - 20,000 BCE)

bce stands for bit coin extreme speaking of extreme, i spent an extreme amount of time researching history and satan the bible so this will be extremlt acreate. IT ALL STARTED LIKE a bunch YEARS AGO 100,000 BCE at first, it was dark, then, someone turned on the lights. the whole universe was like omg finally - universe so like out of the light came many a thing first came jeff, the god of jeff he had a pretty cool name and did fortnite dances then Clefffffff, god of insects. nobody likes him and potato, god of food. hes racist towards the irish so nobody likes him either you'll see oh and dont forget god, the god of finland. jk hes not real jeff was like i need house -jeff so he made an earth. then cleff was like we need a huge lamp - cleffffff forshadowing then the sun so the earth circled the sun in space. it was real boring bc the earth was also a fireball rn so they needed something to look at lets make a bunch of other s...
3 comments
Read more

Science results + how to milk pidgeons

What is up gois todae i'm gonna lern u a thin or 2 ab som of the stuff i laerned  from studying on beluger wahales. They look like dolphins They smell like dolphins They are basically fat ugly stupid dolpins I don't like belugers Anyways through sceienc i turned a parakeet into a parrot adn then into a pidgeon so all in all good experiment. I threw the belugers into the ocean so they will prob be fine. They have my number if they need anything but i'm not gonna respond lol So once i got these pidgeons i decided i needed to do sometihing with them. I went on my laptop and glooged Can you milk a pidgon? I got many seach results. In clonclusion, yes, you, can,milk,them. So i yeet my kenife into the pidgeon and got out those nice bird juices I have to say it goes well with baby parakeet pancakes sometimes ok most of the times ok every times the pidgons die but natural selection they shouldnt have died lol anyways goios brazil is real ...
3 comments
Read more

New year, new me!

Hey guys! It is your boy, Onion Juice, and today I will be talking about a few of my new year's traditions, as well as my resolutions. This year, I have a few things I would like to accomplish. - Check my grammar before posting to my oh-so-glorious blog. - Get rid of my girlfriend - Be friends with Shawp again. - Find my father   Get rid of my girlfriend. - Get rid of my girlfriend Is that everything Every new years, I spend the night by myself on a hill. However, My girlfriend is incapable of leaving me, so I spent it with her. I love to enjoy the silence when the clock strikes 12, yet I had to hear her ear piercing screech that just NEVER STOPS IT NEVER STOPSS IT NEV ER STOIPS PLEASSE JUSETE FU Don't know what came over me anyways if you haven notised yet i got away from the skeleton. Turns out that skeletons are incapable of feeling emotion and all i had to do was make out wif it in ordeer to best it within combat. instantly vaporised. wish the sa...
Post a Comment
Read more