ok fam you may now that my boi banana man is like my bff after shawp atopped being friends with me (for reasons i may not talking aboaut odut) but in the past, he was my mortal enememy. after god gave birf to banana man, with the sole purposee of gamending me, i constructed a plan. ok well i contstructed a bunch of plans. this is the 5th time god tried to gamened me, and banana man was his strongest creation. at least, thats what wikipedia told me
as i began to researsersch, i heard a kenock at my door. whomst coudklas that be? the popo? no, i paid them off this weak already. done did my taxes.
my mom? nope, still in afganishan probably.
dad? died on crimmas?
cousin? died in a coal mine.
other cousin? still in the hospital.
step-dad? no also died on crimmas...
i was beginning to run out of family memebers, so i turned to friends. having as many friends as i did, i referred to my list.
1. shawp (mad at me)
2. steve from minecraf (not real)
3. myself (just a mirror)
4. the talking spider upstairs
5. satan's ghost (just a homeless guy)
6. Bazzi (turns out im not the only one whos precioshus when they smile)
7. Janet (out on buisinass trip)
...
999. Chris prat (wont respond to my calls)
only a few were not crossed out, and... wait nvm the spiders dead cross that one out too. turns out i have no living friends. who else could it be?
oh no
its porbably peta
they heard ab the dog farm incident and have been bullying me ever sinse. ILL LET YOU IN ONCE YOU RESPOND TO ME ON TWITTER!
welp, might as well check the window
and that was when i realizized.
it wasnt a fren.
it wasnt family.
it wasnt a publik service workier.
it wasnt an annoying animals rights grop.
it wasnt my girlfren at the time.
it was banana man.
HECK FRICK! WhAt am i gonna do???????
the suit burned into my eyes. i saw him and hit little banna pistol. we was tryna game end me.
I NEEDEDED A PLAN, KNOW. first, i needed to calculate how long it would take him to open the door. using 5% of my mathmatical capablilites, i estimated it would take him exactly 4 minutes and 62 seconds to open the door. so, i created a list of options
1. take my melleril
it didnt work !!!111! #what?? i took like 400 of the magic juice but then i ran out and forgot it existed until like late january of this year so... ususally it makes strange people go away, like the fairies and the talking worms. they went away like usuall, but banaynay man was still there. WHY THO??
2. i shoot him
ez strat right?? but noooOOOOOoo, i forgot to order more ammo for my barret 50 cal.
3. melee fight him
nope, his arm way to long. he can yeet my gladiatoral sword faster than you can say "alexa, order more rat poisin"
4. dash
im not a coward xD
5. invite him to play the new smash
it hadnt come out yet!!!!
6. throw my dog at him
now theres a plan i can get behind!
as i suspeced, he yeet that door open at the right time. YEET!
my dog went a flying onto banana man, tumbling the 7 foot something absoloot unit to the floor. using just his eyebrows, he stood up effortlessly, grabbe my dog, and punted him
he
punted
my
dog
he
he
h
MY DOG
me: RHEEEEEEE
banana man: Whats CracCAlACKING GAMER
ME: FAM U YEET MY DOG
bananana man: IKR! SICK HUH
ME: SAY SORRY OR IM DONE DID FINNA GAME END YOU (i was bluffing, there was no way i could beat such a unit)
banananana man: COOL IT DUDE! IM SORRY! JUST CHIIIIIIILL OUT!
me: lol k we best friends now
banananananana man: lol k
and thats the story of how banana man kicked my dog. hope you enjoyed
jk the posts not over
right so i have like a really serious issue. so befor i done did make my blog, i done did have a lil bookie book that i wrote things in. i need YOU'RE help in finding that boi. but if you do find it.. please like dont read it. my secrets r in there...
PLEASE DONT READ IT but please doo find it
i still have no idea where it could possibly be on the planet but ill done did gives you more information in the near future
as i began to researsersch, i heard a kenock at my door. whomst coudklas that be? the popo? no, i paid them off this weak already. done did my taxes.
my mom? nope, still in afganishan probably.
dad? died on crimmas?
cousin? died in a coal mine.
other cousin? still in the hospital.
step-dad? no also died on crimmas...
i was beginning to run out of family memebers, so i turned to friends. having as many friends as i did, i referred to my list.
4. the talking spider upstairs
...
only a few were not crossed out, and... wait nvm the spiders dead cross that one out too. turns out i have no living friends. who else could it be?
oh no
its porbably peta
they heard ab the dog farm incident and have been bullying me ever sinse. ILL LET YOU IN ONCE YOU RESPOND TO ME ON TWITTER!
welp, might as well check the window
and that was when i realizized.
it wasnt a fren.
it wasnt family.
it wasnt a publik service workier.
it wasnt an annoying animals rights grop.
it wasnt my girlfren at the time.
it was banana man.
HECK FRICK! WhAt am i gonna do???????
the suit burned into my eyes. i saw him and hit little banna pistol. we was tryna game end me.
I NEEDEDED A PLAN, KNOW. first, i needed to calculate how long it would take him to open the door. using 5% of my mathmatical capablilites, i estimated it would take him exactly 4 minutes and 62 seconds to open the door. so, i created a list of options
1. take my melleril
it didnt work !!!111! #what?? i took like 400 of the magic juice but then i ran out and forgot it existed until like late january of this year so... ususally it makes strange people go away, like the fairies and the talking worms. they went away like usuall, but banaynay man was still there. WHY THO??
2. i shoot him
ez strat right?? but noooOOOOOoo, i forgot to order more ammo for my barret 50 cal.
3. melee fight him
nope, his arm way to long. he can yeet my gladiatoral sword faster than you can say "alexa, order more rat poisin"
4. dash
im not a coward xD
5. invite him to play the new smash
it hadnt come out yet!!!!
6. throw my dog at him
now theres a plan i can get behind!
as i suspeced, he yeet that door open at the right time. YEET!
my dog went a flying onto banana man, tumbling the 7 foot something absoloot unit to the floor. using just his eyebrows, he stood up effortlessly, grabbe my dog, and punted him
he
punted
my
dog
he
he
h
MY DOG
me: RHEEEEEEE
banana man: Whats CracCAlACKING GAMER
ME: FAM U YEET MY DOG
bananana man: IKR! SICK HUH
ME: SAY SORRY OR IM DONE DID FINNA GAME END YOU (i was bluffing, there was no way i could beat such a unit)
banananana man: COOL IT DUDE! IM SORRY! JUST CHIIIIIIILL OUT!
me: lol k we best friends now
banananananana man: lol k
and thats the story of how banana man kicked my dog. hope you enjoyed
jk the posts not over
right so i have like a really serious issue. so befor i done did make my blog, i done did have a lil bookie book that i wrote things in. i need YOU'RE help in finding that boi. but if you do find it.. please like dont read it. my secrets r in there...
PLEASE DONT READ IT but please doo find it
i still have no idea where it could possibly be on the planet but ill done did gives you more information in the near future
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