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cooking zebra

right so im putting magik man tutorial on hold for a more pressing issue

i know this post tooik a while but i was listening to my favorite rapper YUNG UPGRADE, link down below mans is fire 🔥🔥🔥

emojis are so cool check this out 💣💥⏩🐧🐦🐥🐤🐣

get it!!! im killing birds with an explosive device. its like hyroglifics but with colour


now that im closer to the great african savannayes i have access to better nums. now i dont have to eat parakeets, now i can eeat grater things like edgy horsies and hard worms.


oky so today im going to teach how to cokok the edgy hors more comonly known as zebre

PRO TIP: DON GOOGL EDGY HORS


ok so like there are many ways to cut the meat of a zebra. im going to take the sensible route and use toenail clippers, link to some good ones


 https://www.amazon.com/BLACK-DECKER-BEHT100-Hedge-Trimmer/dp/B077Z9KM29/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1544669125&sr=8-3&keywords=hedge+cutters

cheap as frick but get the job done


so ur going to want to make an inscishon near the neck, as that is where the most tender meat is.

onese you have done that,  your dgoihng to want to ksw a bite out of a apple, as by this pointr you aere probably really tieed. then you will noticew the sleep dart in yhour neckkkk, and you will fall asleeepe



what the hell is this?


super max prison?


i didnt consent to this tho


k thnx


sorry a robot tried to kidnap me and put me in prison but i tricked him n i escaped

now  im in the middle of nowhere!!!

what do i do?


i had to come up with a list of options. one because i llike ;lists, two because i like lists.

1. cry
2. cry
2. cry
4. cry
.5 cry
6. find my way s back home :)
8. read my blog
i know!
the final optioni was the best if you were wondering. picking amy of the others would have gottedn you a failing grade

ok so i used my new onion juice phone™ to read my  blog. that gave me the inspiration to walk back home bc my house was right behind me more info on the onion juice phone soon

now that im finally back home, we can wait waire is my zeba???? i knew i should nt gave given PETA A my adress


so i wasnt planning on showing you how to catch a zebra, but like my last zebra was kidnapped by peta, might have had to do with it still being alive


kk so once you have gonoe out to the pplaiinis of affrica, as you do, your going to want to find a zebra

they r esuesaually hanging out in the grass, so make sure to check the grass
i tured over a rock and a bunch crawled out so check under rocks too

or were those cockroaches

no definetly zebras


your going to want to pull out fn-2000 assault rifle, and go for the head. make sure to do tricks for extra points, and rememebr friendly fir eis on. i need a new dog btw so suggest some dog breeds

or dont i dont caare


after shooting down ~90,000 - 89,999 zebrees, your goign to want to take that boi back home. rememeber, poaching is illegal, so make surey our not accidently in the zoo. has happened to me before, so its ok if this is your first time. wave at the kids for me! 

ok so where were we? so your going to waanant to make an incishon around the neck, then your going to want to puch that boi till blood starts coming out the eyes

by that oint ur gonna wanna cut off the head, BUT save it, it makes gofr a good ornament ion christmas 

take the rest of the body, preheat your oven to 500 degrees, then setup your grill outside. cut off thre legs, feed them toy our dog (or newly dead dog) and take the body and put it itno the oven. at aronud 10 minutes, your going to waant to pick up your over and put it on the grill. then, take the newly cooked zebra, and grund that boi to a paste with your teeth. take the paste, mush it itnto rolls, and bake until golden. and they're you're have it! cooke zebra

hope you enjoyed rerading, because learning is a priveledge. you lsoe theat pribveelege when you stop reading my blog

your welcome im sorry this took forever 

Yung Upgrade

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